Almost active

I am almost active with the agency in Chicago. Sent off the phase 2 fees to become active and a few bits and pieces of paperwork they needed last Friday so just waiting for it to get there. Then I should be active and then just waiting again :)

Registered with new agency

Sorry for the hiatus. It took a bit to find a new agency and then to get a contract in place between my agency in BC and the new agency. And in the meantime I wasn't very good company :) The new agency is in Chicago. They currently have other canadians signed up with them and seem really down to earth. They fit into my budget and birthparent fees are included in the agency fees, so they aren't an unknown. I'm not feeling particularly escatic, but I think that is because this is agency number three, not because they aren't a good agency. Everything looks really good. I have been really frustrated and worried this last week. I had finished my application paperwork and had to wait until the contract between the agencies was signed. So on Monday I sent off my paperwork but it had to be there by October 1st when their fees changed (not in my favor). So I priority mailed it to which Canada Post says is overnight. I didn't quite believe that since I live rurally I figured it would take two days so i happily parted with my $40 (for an envelope!) to get it there quickly. But it got there yesterday! Thursday!! So I was nail bitting. And annoyed at the price I paid for quick service that almost really messed me up. But it made it, so everything is okay...for now :)

Frustrated and disappointed

Found out today that my Nevada agency doesn't think it can accommodate me with my budget. Maybe a percentage of 10% of their cases would work. So that is a no go. The back up plan also fell through. So now my BC agency is researching other agencies that already work with Canadians. This time we are going to ask the questions about their process to get the baby across the border and that timeline. Also I'm going to say what my budget is and if they think they can help me before I sign with them. Hopefully this third agency (when we find it!) is the last agency. So frustrated I actually questioned what I was doing for the first time.

Starting again

Chated with my BC agency today. They were positive and told me my budget was fine. They are telling the Nevada agency my exact budget and getting from them if they think they can find a baby in that range and what the time frames might be. We're fairly sure that with a bit of tweeking a baby can be found in my budget which is good. Also inquiring about a backup plan if needed (hopefully not). Waiting for responses. . . again :)

Bye Baby Bye Bye

So I heard yesterday that the emergency hearing was a pretty good shot. So I was up and then this morning I got the fee estimate and am very down. It's high, very high. Too high. So I had to say no to the September baby. Regrouping and deciding what to do and if I can get the fees down to my budget with any baby. what to do. I don't want to start over with a third agency! I have a phone appointment on Wednesday with my BC agency to discuss what the options are and where to go from here. Sad, but doing okay, mostly.

Asking for Financials

Still waiting for answers from the lawyer, but I'm proceeding as if the emergency custody will be granted. So my next step is to find out if I can afford this baby due in 6 weeks! Yikes! its getting close. So I've asked them to forward me the financial info based on the emergency hearing for guardianship working. So hopefully I have the financials this week. Mostly I'll admit I want to know for me emotionally and because I need to talk to my boss. Also this Saturday I'm going to a near by city to go shopping with my mom. This is when I'd like to do the last shopping I'd need to do for the baby if I get her in Sept. But I really don't want to get those last items and have them sitting in the nursery staring at me if September isn't the date. Oh well, I guess we'll see what happens ...

A bit of Info

So I received a bit of good news today. The lawyer that was contacted said that it's never been done before but he's willing to try with regards the emergency hearing to get legal guardianship faster. So that's good news, but I need a bit more than he's "willing to try". So they've asked for more info from him and are asking if he'd like to talk to the lawyers that do this all the time in Florida. Then I'm going to need a 'we think this will work" before I'm really comfortable. But this is a step in the right direction!

Nothing new

That about sums it up. The people that need to talk to each other haven't yet. It's frustrating.

Update

I talked to my agency in BC which said it may be possible to get 'emergency guardianship' agueing that it is in the best interest of the child to be placed with me as soon as possible. But the kicker is that because of vacation times the two people that need to talk to each other to discuss if this is a possibility wont be able to until next Tuesday. I hate this. I don't want to think anymore. I can't let myself think that September might be on again, because it might not be and I can't go throught that roller coaster again. But a part of me hopes. So everything is on pause, for now.

Bitter Disappointment, Anger and Crying

So I called today to see what the status of the financial info was as it was supposed to be to me this week and it's Friday. I found out the financial info is being held up by them not knowing for sure if legal guardianship is required or temporary guardianship, but they told me they are almost positive legal guardianship is required which means 45 day. 45 days before I could get my baby. Which means I'll have to say 'no' to her which is breaking my heart to pieces. So many pieces. Also this has nothing to do with her father being unknown. All babies from Nevada would have to undergo this 45 days as legal guardianship they are pretty sure is a Hague requirement. They are going to double check with the attorney and make sure he doesn't have a 'in' with a judge that could get us in quicker but I'm really not holding my breathe. So the way it's standing right now I can't adopt from Nevada at all, so nice to know after working with them for several months on the premise I could. But I just can't afford to carry two households for 45 days or to have someone care for my baby for 45 days, plus miss the first 45 days of her life. Also not being her guardian for the first 45 days, I'm not even sure now much access I'd even have to her. The agency does do 20% of there adoptions in Utah and is checking out for me how long it takes to get guardianship in Utah, which they think is much quicker. But at this particular moment. I don't have the heart to even think about starting all over again. I've gone from an agency working in Utah to and agency in Nevada to the same agency working in Utah!! What the heck!! What a day. So many tears as dreams for September, slowly die

Financial info next week

So I've been waiting and waiting and waiting for the financial estimate. At this point I've said 'yes' to this proposal based on the medical and social history but with the caveate that I haven't seen the finacial info. I have now had the details for 29 days. That's 29 days of hopes and dreams of a little baby girl born in September. Plans of the trip to get her, plans of camping next year this time with a 9 month old. Plans of everything. I'm so scared. Realistically I have a budget and have to say 'no' if it somes in over that but my heart is so involved after 29 days. I so wish I had all the info so much quicker. So hoping it works out! Hears hoping!

Fire pictures

Sorry for the delay in posting pictures. Here are two pictures. The fire is now 70% contained and the smoke is getting much better. For a bit it was quite bad. Fortunately no homes have been destroyed.

House covered in ash!

So I was away for the weekend and came home to a forestfire! There is a fire 30 km south of town so I'm under a cloud and my house and everything in the yard (and the entire town) is covered in ash. Kind of wierd. It's dark, which is wierd. I also thought I'd be far enough away not to be getting ashed! It's 3000 hectares so a decent size, hopefully it stays away from town and they get it put out soon. Especially since I wanted to go camping out that direction for the July long weekend! I'll post a picture or two tomorrow if everything cooperates.

Rollercoaster

So it's been a crazy rollercoaster ride! I received the social and medical history yesterday and not giving anything personal away, everything looked good. I wanted a bit more info on a few things but nothing that would stop me from accepting the proposal. I shared this info with my parents since at this point, I thought I was a bit biased (to say the least!) and a second pair of eyes would be good. They both agreed nothing scary was in the histories. So I asked my questions and accepted the proposal today. Have to get yet another criminal records check done, home study update and prior contact check with ministry of children and families. So everything was looking up I was just waiting for the financials (and still am...bit nervous about that) and i was beginning to think things were good. Then the agency in Nevada mentioned that because the birth father was unknown it would take 4 months to terminate his parental rights (which we had already covered) and that I could NOT take the baby to Canada until then. So I was a bit shocked to say the least. She said she had to double check with the Hague process, etc but she didn't think it was possible. I said that was a BIG problem. She asked if I could relocate to Nevada for 4 months! I said I didn't think so. Then I had a minor heart attack and called my agency in BC, who reassured me that Hague doesn't stop me from taking the baby to BC, only a state law would. So just waiting back to hear if there is any state law prohibiting bringing the baby to Canada before the birthfathers rights are terminated. I certainly hope not or I think I'm going to have to turn down this proposal and I reallllllly don't want to do that.

Impatient :)

So I still only have the details I've already published. I'm still waiting for the birthmom's social and medical history. The agency in Nevada didn't know it had to go to my agency here in BC first before it could come to me. Which shouldn't have delayed anything too long, but I guess my agency in Nevada wanted to make sure everything was just right before they forwarded anything to my agency, so they forwarded the info to their Hague specialist. So the Hague specialist is putting together a whole package for my agency that 'should' be ready next week. I feel great knowing the Nevada agency is doing everything by the book but I really want to know a bit more about the situation because I don't want to tell too many extended family members yet until I've accepted the proposal. Oh well, I guess another lesson in patience, I should be getting used to this . . .

Chosen!!! And over the MOON !!

So I called my agency in Nevada today for an update and got terrific news!! I've been chosen by a birthmom who is due on September 12. She is carrying a baby girl who is full african american!! I am sooo excited. I will get more info on her social and medical history tomorrow. So trying to keep it together til then.

The reason for a lack of posts until now is that the wait had been getting to me (and I know I had no right with sooo many ppl waiting sooo much longer). Everyday I had someone come up to me (or more than one) and ask me if I'd heard anything and if I knew when. I didn't know when. I had nothing further I could do. No more steps I could take. So it was hard. I had started to eat my lunch in my office instead of the cafeteria to avoid people, which isn't me. But thankfully, soon I should have something to say! :)

Officially waiting!

So my new birthparent letters arrived at my agency last Thursday. I called them on Monday to make sure they really arrived and that they have everything that they needed. They said they do and are ready to start talking about 'situations'. In fact she said some one due in September might work, but that she was 'barely pregnant' so they would look for someone due sooner! So I'm happy and hope to be matched soon!!

Some good news

So I got an email from the new agency I'm working with. They are accepting all the paperwork from the past agency. Yipeee. I don't have to do anymore paperwork. I have to adjust my birthparent letter a bit to their format, but I'm fine with that. As for my missing bank draft, it's still missing and they asked me to give them until the end of March for it to show up. Well it hasn't yet, so I guess I'll be asking for my money from them tomorrow and maybe to a lawyer if things go sideways. I'm anxious, but we'll see what happens . . .

Still mad

Well, I talked to the agency that lost my bank draft in the mail and they have asked me to give it another week, so I'm waiting to yell and threaten legal action until next Monday. On the other hand the new agency in Utah and my BC agency have signed an agreement so I can forward my dossier on to them. So I 'might' actually be registered and going forward again. Instead of the being stuck in a whirlpool, like I have been the last month!

sad and mad and a warning

Well up to this point in my adoption journey I had thought things had gone really well. A few ups and downs, but everyone has those right?? We'll I guess I can now sympatize with the other blogs I follow where people occasionally post that they are blue. I have been blue and crying too now. With all my documents lost and my bank draft for $6500 US dollars being lost that certainly did it. My documents were found, but my bank draft is still lost. On Feb 17th it was mailed to me from Utah in REGULAR mail. So in my opinion they are completely stupid. So when it wasn't in the mail today I went to my bank to attempt to cancel it. Here is the warning part, you can't cancel a bank draft and they have no expiration date, unlike regular cheques. So while I could report it lost and the money was put back in my account, if any one finds it and cashes it they will remove the money from my account. So I certainly at this point can't use that money. I'm going to yell at them on Monday and tell them it is their fault but I'm not sure if it will get me anywhere.

Red tape

I should be used to the time things take in the adoption world, but it does still amaze me. I faxed off a release of information form to the agency I was using in Utah to release my file to the new agency I'm using in Utah. I faxed in the form on Feb 18, so yesterday I phoned the agency to see if they had received my file yet. Sigh ... No they had not, they would follow up with them and let me know. Sigh... They didn't call me yesterday or today. So I guess I'll phone everyone tomorrow again. It seems if you don't keep on top of everything all the time, that nothing happens. Sigh.

AHHH!!

So I've put off doing this post for a bit now but here goes. Last week on Monday night I received a call from my agency in Utah. They said they were concerned about the amount I said the adoption could cost. They thought it was unrealistically low and would be hard to make a match at that level. I was mad as they had had my file for a month and they couldn't have told me sooner?? Anyways I called my mom and she generously offered some funds (turned out I didn't need them, but was so stunned and thrilled with the offer). I called my bank where i have the adoption loan through and was able to increase the amount with them. Then I got an email from The adoption centre in Kelowna saying that they needed to talk to me. I figured it was just about the funds, so no biggie. Boy was I wrong. They said that the Utah agency only had a temporary Hague license and it was going to expire on March 31 and they were not going to get a full certification. So they either needed to match me with a mom before March 31 or they wouldn't be able to do my adoption. So then I called Utah, they basically said that they wanted to drop me as they didn't think they could match me that soon. They would give back my money, except the registration fee. So that was last thursday and I was really upset as this ment I needed to start over with a new agency. They recommended one. I checked out the agency they recommended and they look good. They assure me that much of it should be transferable, but well see. At least I'm not in limbo mode anymore.

Not all the paperwork :(

So after sending in all the paperwork I thought was needed. I found out I needed to read 2 books on adoption and complete questions on them and to attend a child care class. So I read the 2 boooks and sent off the questions on Monday. One of the books " Raising Adopted Children by Lois Melina was quite good. But I did have to say I felt like I was back in highschool doing a book report :) As for the child care class, that gave me pause for a bit. I have decided the best option in my small rural town is to take prenatal classes! So i am signed up to attend the class on Feb 15th dealing with the care of a newborn. After explaining to the public health nurse, I was told I could leave half way through as the last half of the class is on breathing during labour! This is a late prenatal class, so i expect I will feel a bit wierd being in a class with woman that are very obviously pregnant. They are certainly going to wonder why I'm there! But after that I should be done everything :) again!

All Documents submitted

I'm thrilled all the paperwork is done!!! YAH!! I mailed off the approved birthparent letters and fast track letters on Dec 30th. I got an email confirming that all the documents were received by the Adoption Centre of BC in Kelowna and will be mailed off to Utah, by the end of the week! So I went to the bank today for a bank draft and have paid the processing and file activation fee! So as soon as all the documents are reviewed in Utah, then I'll be officially on the waitlist!!! Which is just about when I had predicted (being on the waitlist by the beginning of January) and wanted. Today is a good day!