New Plan

So it has been a while and a bit has changed :) There have been changes with J and with the adoption plans. I will post about J later. I had decided a while ago that I would give the adoption with the US with my current agency 1 year to go somewhere and then re-evaluate. While the one year anniversary was the end of Sept. So at the end of August I started researching other options out there for single women. I came across the Democratic Republic of the Congo (DRC). It seemed like a really good program and fit for me. I would be on a list moving up to the top, not waiting for a birthparent to pick me. Also my original plan 2.5 years ago was to adopt from Africa, so it was going back to my original plan. So I found an agency that was already working with Canadians in several provincies including Canada. I asked my agency in BC to research them and if they looked good to please sign a contract with them so I could work with them. This was after I had a conversation with the program director for DRC and was happy with the answers. So my agency started researching and working on a contract. This has taken many months. I finally got an email last week saying they had signed the contact and I could start my application process with the DRC agency. So Dec 24th I filled out the online application with them and am now just waiting for it to be processed. So as of right now I am still registered with the US and have started the process with a DRC agency. At some point soon I will hae to stop the process with the US due to financial reasons but will stay registered with them for as long as possible just in case. So there is my update for now. More will be happening now, so I will try to keep this blog updated more :)

Active again!

So when J came ot live with me the province of BC decided to withdraw there approval of my adoption plans putting everything on hold until a homestudy update was done. This was despite the fact that I was approved for two children to join my family by adoption.

So on Sunday a new social worker (old on was unavailable) came for a home study update. I really didn't know what to expect. After all the original homestudy is pretty intensive. However my social worker just had me go through my original homestudy circle anything that had changed and then explain how J came to be with me. Then he just asked me if I wanted to change my ages or countries or anything. It was all over in 45mins and was soo not stressful! And now I am updated!! Back on the active list!

So now you know I have my niece J living with me. This has not been an easy process with the Ministry of Children and Family Development (mcfd)though. Although I had a homestudy already done with references and criminal records checks etc. They still needed to do a home inspection, criminal records check and needed 3 references and all asap. However due to being an approved adoptive parent i was allowed to have J while waiting for all this to come through. Also because mcfd is involved no one is allowed to care for her accept people who have had a criminal records check and prior contact with the ministry check done. This was a big problem because I instantly had J but could only take a couple days off work and all the daycares in town where full. I was told by one social worker at the ministry to just find someone safe and so lined up my mom and cousin in the short term and found a daycare that was in the process of opening that could take her Fridays and full time once registered. She said that the ministry would ignore the criminal records checks for the time being due to all the day cares being full and just get them in as soon as possible. so I handed them out and dropped them off (they take 7-10 days). Then got a call a couple days later from a different social worker saying that we couldn't ignore the criminal record check anymore, so I paniced because what was I supposed to do with J while I was working. Fortunately my mom and cousin could go to the RCMP and get a verbal to the Ministry that they were fine. However I am still waiting for the almost open daycare owner's to come back from the ministry after 2 weeks which is frustrating. I also get phone calls from the ministry saying things like you need to come to the office tomorrow morning to sign a contract that must be in tomorrow. I work out of town sometimes and was that day. So things have been stressful. Especially when you add in 4 weekly parental visits, on both Saturday and Sunday so I am very tied down (hoping to move one and get one weekend day free) and I have been a bit stressed out with the being a 'new mom' in role if not title and the other issues associated with J. We did have a big meeting on Tuesday and so I now know for sure that J will be with me until the end of Nov.
Well thats all for now!

Wow things have changed!

I know I have been very remiss in my blogging. That is because so much has happened in my life and I didn't know how or where to begin speaking about it or if I wanted to for a bit.

I had mentioned a bit ago that things had not been going well with my sister an her boyfriend who have a little girl. Well in the middle of April things really started going badly. The ministry of children and family development (mcfd) approached me and asked if I would start having my niece stay with me every weekend to give her parents a break. I of course said yes and was so happy that I had the nursery setup already! So for the month of April she started staying with me on the weekends and for things like the long easter weekend this ment four days.

At this point my sister and her boyfriend were issued an eviction notice from their apartment for the end of April. The plan that was formed by the mcfd was for my sister to live in the local safe home and her boyfriend was going to stay with friends, basically couch hop. Obviously this along with many other concerns in the home that had been happening made me and my family very concerned. So I approached my sister and her boyfriend and told them that if they wanted I would look after my niece for as long as they needed me too. They agreed and unknown to them the mcfd was also very pleased as they were about to step in.

So since April 29th I have had a darling 20 month old (now) little girl living with me. My life has changed in so many ways. But more to come on all the emotional and paperwork and so much more that I am going through.

Skiing

Thought I'd post about something not related to adoption at all. I went skiing with my brother and one sister on April 1 at Hudson Bay mountain in Smithers BC, a couple hours drive from where I live. It is a really great hill that gets lots of great snow but because it's in northern BC it is way less busy than Whistler or other hills in BC. Generally only a 2 person wait for the chairlift! It was a great sunny day and about plus 3. I love spring skiing.

Time ticks by

I hate waiting. You would think as the second anniversary of my adoption journey came and went this month that I would have gotten better at this. I may have become resigned to it but I don't think I hate it any less now than at the beginning.

I am feeling impatient with the US. This I know is silly because I have only been signed up with them since Oct 1, which isn't very long. So I keep trying to tell myself to be patient, but it is soo not working. Part of my impatience I think is that I am not on a list like with international adoption where I could know that I am family number 47 and when I become family number 1 on the list I will get a baby. No, I am waiting for someone to pick me, to like me. This may never happen. You try not to take it personally as you wait but you can't help it and you can't help wondering will I wait forever?

So I have decided to re-evaluate Oct 1 of this year when I have been with the US for 1 year. I am not sure how long to give it but right now that is what I am comfortable with. Since I have signed up with the US I have become aware of other options for me as a single woman and potentially other countries that may open up soon. So I will look at all that Oct 1 and decided if I am where I should be and right now I am not convinced of that, so I guess we will see what happens.

In the meantime, does anyone out there know of any blogs following an adoption journey or one on the topic of adoption from the democractic republic of the congo? If so can you pass them on to me? Thanks!

Life goes on

So I had the MRI and saw the specialists about my foot. The specialist was not helpful saying he didn't know what was going on and he wasn't the right person to figure it out. He said it would probably just get better by itself. I am not so sure as it hasn't after 7 months! The MRI didn't really show anything. That at least rules out cancer or other tumors (which was being talked of) which is great. So now I am being sent to a foot specialist about 10 hours away but the wait will probably be 3-6 months. So if it isn't better (magically like the specialist thinks it will do)by then it is probably reasonable to do that.

As for my niece, my Mom went and talked to the Ministry of Children and Families, but we are not holding our breathe that they are going to do anything. They are now talking about having a family meeting with everyone. So I guess we will see if that happens and if anything comes from that.

Still Here

I know I have been a very bad blogger. I am just waiting for someone to select me adoption wise. So not much has happened adoption wise. However my life has not been simple.

I am dealing with an interesting foot issue. I woke up in August with a swollen foot having done nothing to it. Since then I have seen two doctors, a podiatrist had an X-ray and an ultrasound. They still don't know what is going on but I am seeing an orthopedic surgeon next week and having an MRI soon. so hopefully soon I know what is going on. It's not painful, just swollen.

The other big issue which is much bigger is my niece. She is 16 months old and a real cutie. However the Ministry of Children and Families has been involved with her and her family and other stuff is happening. I want to keep it mostly confidential but it's not particularly good. There are several situations in which I could end up with my niece and several situations where I wont. This is hard since it is soo hard to watch the situations happen and to wonder if I will remain the aunt who picks her up and has her over often to play or the person who she ends up with. I am not changing my adoption plans but the uncertainty of the situation is hard. Then my sister's partner's mother even told them maybe it would be better if they just signed my niece over to me for a year until they figure things out and get their life in order. So on one hand I jump at this but on the other hand I soo wouldn't want to give her up after a year so it's so hard! (not that I really think they will voluntarily do that) So I guess I keep, keeping on and see how things end up :)