Time ticks by

I hate waiting. You would think as the second anniversary of my adoption journey came and went this month that I would have gotten better at this. I may have become resigned to it but I don't think I hate it any less now than at the beginning.

I am feeling impatient with the US. This I know is silly because I have only been signed up with them since Oct 1, which isn't very long. So I keep trying to tell myself to be patient, but it is soo not working. Part of my impatience I think is that I am not on a list like with international adoption where I could know that I am family number 47 and when I become family number 1 on the list I will get a baby. No, I am waiting for someone to pick me, to like me. This may never happen. You try not to take it personally as you wait but you can't help it and you can't help wondering will I wait forever?

So I have decided to re-evaluate Oct 1 of this year when I have been with the US for 1 year. I am not sure how long to give it but right now that is what I am comfortable with. Since I have signed up with the US I have become aware of other options for me as a single woman and potentially other countries that may open up soon. So I will look at all that Oct 1 and decided if I am where I should be and right now I am not convinced of that, so I guess we will see what happens.

In the meantime, does anyone out there know of any blogs following an adoption journey or one on the topic of adoption from the democractic republic of the congo? If so can you pass them on to me? Thanks!

Life goes on

So I had the MRI and saw the specialists about my foot. The specialist was not helpful saying he didn't know what was going on and he wasn't the right person to figure it out. He said it would probably just get better by itself. I am not so sure as it hasn't after 7 months! The MRI didn't really show anything. That at least rules out cancer or other tumors (which was being talked of) which is great. So now I am being sent to a foot specialist about 10 hours away but the wait will probably be 3-6 months. So if it isn't better (magically like the specialist thinks it will do)by then it is probably reasonable to do that.

As for my niece, my Mom went and talked to the Ministry of Children and Families, but we are not holding our breathe that they are going to do anything. They are now talking about having a family meeting with everyone. So I guess we will see if that happens and if anything comes from that.

Still Here

I know I have been a very bad blogger. I am just waiting for someone to select me adoption wise. So not much has happened adoption wise. However my life has not been simple.

I am dealing with an interesting foot issue. I woke up in August with a swollen foot having done nothing to it. Since then I have seen two doctors, a podiatrist had an X-ray and an ultrasound. They still don't know what is going on but I am seeing an orthopedic surgeon next week and having an MRI soon. so hopefully soon I know what is going on. It's not painful, just swollen.

The other big issue which is much bigger is my niece. She is 16 months old and a real cutie. However the Ministry of Children and Families has been involved with her and her family and other stuff is happening. I want to keep it mostly confidential but it's not particularly good. There are several situations in which I could end up with my niece and several situations where I wont. This is hard since it is soo hard to watch the situations happen and to wonder if I will remain the aunt who picks her up and has her over often to play or the person who she ends up with. I am not changing my adoption plans but the uncertainty of the situation is hard. Then my sister's partner's mother even told them maybe it would be better if they just signed my niece over to me for a year until they figure things out and get their life in order. So on one hand I jump at this but on the other hand I soo wouldn't want to give her up after a year so it's so hard! (not that I really think they will voluntarily do that) So I guess I keep, keeping on and see how things end up :)

Almost active

I am almost active with the agency in Chicago. Sent off the phase 2 fees to become active and a few bits and pieces of paperwork they needed last Friday so just waiting for it to get there. Then I should be active and then just waiting again :)

Registered with new agency

Sorry for the hiatus. It took a bit to find a new agency and then to get a contract in place between my agency in BC and the new agency. And in the meantime I wasn't very good company :) The new agency is in Chicago. They currently have other canadians signed up with them and seem really down to earth. They fit into my budget and birthparent fees are included in the agency fees, so they aren't an unknown. I'm not feeling particularly escatic, but I think that is because this is agency number three, not because they aren't a good agency. Everything looks really good. I have been really frustrated and worried this last week. I had finished my application paperwork and had to wait until the contract between the agencies was signed. So on Monday I sent off my paperwork but it had to be there by October 1st when their fees changed (not in my favor). So I priority mailed it to which Canada Post says is overnight. I didn't quite believe that since I live rurally I figured it would take two days so i happily parted with my $40 (for an envelope!) to get it there quickly. But it got there yesterday! Thursday!! So I was nail bitting. And annoyed at the price I paid for quick service that almost really messed me up. But it made it, so everything is okay...for now :)

Frustrated and disappointed

Found out today that my Nevada agency doesn't think it can accommodate me with my budget. Maybe a percentage of 10% of their cases would work. So that is a no go. The back up plan also fell through. So now my BC agency is researching other agencies that already work with Canadians. This time we are going to ask the questions about their process to get the baby across the border and that timeline. Also I'm going to say what my budget is and if they think they can help me before I sign with them. Hopefully this third agency (when we find it!) is the last agency. So frustrated I actually questioned what I was doing for the first time.

Starting again

Chated with my BC agency today. They were positive and told me my budget was fine. They are telling the Nevada agency my exact budget and getting from them if they think they can find a baby in that range and what the time frames might be. We're fairly sure that with a bit of tweeking a baby can be found in my budget which is good. Also inquiring about a backup plan if needed (hopefully not). Waiting for responses. . . again :)