Still Here

I know I have been a very bad blogger. I am just waiting for someone to select me adoption wise. So not much has happened adoption wise. However my life has not been simple.

I am dealing with an interesting foot issue. I woke up in August with a swollen foot having done nothing to it. Since then I have seen two doctors, a podiatrist had an X-ray and an ultrasound. They still don't know what is going on but I am seeing an orthopedic surgeon next week and having an MRI soon. so hopefully soon I know what is going on. It's not painful, just swollen.

The other big issue which is much bigger is my niece. She is 16 months old and a real cutie. However the Ministry of Children and Families has been involved with her and her family and other stuff is happening. I want to keep it mostly confidential but it's not particularly good. There are several situations in which I could end up with my niece and several situations where I wont. This is hard since it is soo hard to watch the situations happen and to wonder if I will remain the aunt who picks her up and has her over often to play or the person who she ends up with. I am not changing my adoption plans but the uncertainty of the situation is hard. Then my sister's partner's mother even told them maybe it would be better if they just signed my niece over to me for a year until they figure things out and get their life in order. So on one hand I jump at this but on the other hand I soo wouldn't want to give her up after a year so it's so hard! (not that I really think they will voluntarily do that) So I guess I keep, keeping on and see how things end up :)

Almost active

I am almost active with the agency in Chicago. Sent off the phase 2 fees to become active and a few bits and pieces of paperwork they needed last Friday so just waiting for it to get there. Then I should be active and then just waiting again :)

Registered with new agency

Sorry for the hiatus. It took a bit to find a new agency and then to get a contract in place between my agency in BC and the new agency. And in the meantime I wasn't very good company :) The new agency is in Chicago. They currently have other canadians signed up with them and seem really down to earth. They fit into my budget and birthparent fees are included in the agency fees, so they aren't an unknown. I'm not feeling particularly escatic, but I think that is because this is agency number three, not because they aren't a good agency. Everything looks really good. I have been really frustrated and worried this last week. I had finished my application paperwork and had to wait until the contract between the agencies was signed. So on Monday I sent off my paperwork but it had to be there by October 1st when their fees changed (not in my favor). So I priority mailed it to which Canada Post says is overnight. I didn't quite believe that since I live rurally I figured it would take two days so i happily parted with my $40 (for an envelope!) to get it there quickly. But it got there yesterday! Thursday!! So I was nail bitting. And annoyed at the price I paid for quick service that almost really messed me up. But it made it, so everything is okay...for now :)

Frustrated and disappointed

Found out today that my Nevada agency doesn't think it can accommodate me with my budget. Maybe a percentage of 10% of their cases would work. So that is a no go. The back up plan also fell through. So now my BC agency is researching other agencies that already work with Canadians. This time we are going to ask the questions about their process to get the baby across the border and that timeline. Also I'm going to say what my budget is and if they think they can help me before I sign with them. Hopefully this third agency (when we find it!) is the last agency. So frustrated I actually questioned what I was doing for the first time.

Starting again

Chated with my BC agency today. They were positive and told me my budget was fine. They are telling the Nevada agency my exact budget and getting from them if they think they can find a baby in that range and what the time frames might be. We're fairly sure that with a bit of tweeking a baby can be found in my budget which is good. Also inquiring about a backup plan if needed (hopefully not). Waiting for responses. . . again :)

Bye Baby Bye Bye

So I heard yesterday that the emergency hearing was a pretty good shot. So I was up and then this morning I got the fee estimate and am very down. It's high, very high. Too high. So I had to say no to the September baby. Regrouping and deciding what to do and if I can get the fees down to my budget with any baby. what to do. I don't want to start over with a third agency! I have a phone appointment on Wednesday with my BC agency to discuss what the options are and where to go from here. Sad, but doing okay, mostly.

Asking for Financials

Still waiting for answers from the lawyer, but I'm proceeding as if the emergency custody will be granted. So my next step is to find out if I can afford this baby due in 6 weeks! Yikes! its getting close. So I've asked them to forward me the financial info based on the emergency hearing for guardianship working. So hopefully I have the financials this week. Mostly I'll admit I want to know for me emotionally and because I need to talk to my boss. Also this Saturday I'm going to a near by city to go shopping with my mom. This is when I'd like to do the last shopping I'd need to do for the baby if I get her in Sept. But I really don't want to get those last items and have them sitting in the nursery staring at me if September isn't the date. Oh well, I guess we'll see what happens ...